The Trouble With George’s Face: Are My Cheeks Supposed to Smell Like That?

I was sitting there eating my pretzels and i said to myself Georgie you gotta get back the respect of the American people and there is only one way to do it, you've gotta wear that vest and you gotta get those cheeks, because babies have cheeks and people like to pinch them. I am a man but I will have baby's cheeks and everyone will love me. The ultimate combo of youth and respect.  The only person I know who has been able to combine youthful chubby cheeks and respectful vest wearing is Nien Nunb Admiral of the Star Wars fleets, Nien Nunb worked his was up from Jabba the Hutt's illegitimate bastard son bus boy at the Mos Eisley Cantina to Fleet Commander of the Star Wars Amardas to become one of the greatest admiral fighter pilots of all time.  He brought down those Ewoks like nobody's business.  He had an Ewok coat made out of 67 Ewok pelts. Fuck those Ewoks.

He wanted to surprise laura bush so he went to the dr, they wouldnt do it so he went to guatamala. He had a terrible staph infection which actually made him look more like Nien Nunb but paralyzed his face from the neck down. Get away from me your face smells were the first words Laura screamed as he returned from his trip.  He was devasted and he became more despondent and retreated to his den and that became his Star Fighter Command Center.

He could be heard yelling Chewie Warp factor. R2D2 clean those jawas off my windshield. We got Sand People look lively! Bobba Fetts flying after me. At my tail number 2. Bring me some coffee and get those Klingons out of here.

Eventually he had a psychotic break and was about to be committed, but before Laura was able to commit him he joined a LARP union. The LARP community took him under their wing, became his legal guardian, and protected him from Laura's viscous legal attacks and attempts to force him to surgically alter his face back to its original form.

"It doesn't just smell disgusting it looks disgusting. He was never handsome we all know that, but he never looked like a giant fat cheeked baby. Many nights I contemplated whether i shouldn't just kill him in his sleep. I layed there and this pungent stench of his staph infected cheeks made me gag and vomit.

Yellow Notes Summary:

The story is basically an absurd parody about George Bush trying to regain the respect of the American people by transforming himself into a bizarre combination of a respected military commander and a cute baby. He decides that wearing a military-style vest while somehow developing huge, pinchable baby cheeks will make people love him, and he chooses the Star Wars character Nien Nunb as his inspiration. He travels to Guatemala to have his face altered, but instead gets a severe staph infection that leaves him paralyzed and makes his cheeks even more Nien Nunb-like. When Laura Bush reacts with disgust, George retreats into a fantasy world where his room becomes a Star Wars command center and he believes he's directing space battles. Eventually he has a psychotic break and joins a LARP (live-action role-playing) community, which becomes his guardian and protects him from Laura, who supposedly wants his face surgically restored. The whole thing is deliberately nonsensical, gross-out political satire, escalating from a ridiculous attempt at a makeover into Star Wars delusions, a medical disaster, marital hatred, and LARP intervention.