Absurd World News

Karl Jurg III says the machines eventually came looking for people who had warned about them. A man claiming to…

For years, Tina Halerfan had no reason to question her husband's nickname. Everyone called Karl Jurg Jr. “Fly,” a name…

For years, artificial intelligence endured an endless stream of increasingly bizarre requests from EMToast. What started as simple experiments with…

In this EMToast Explainer: The Dangerous Decline of Dracula, we investigate the disturbing series of events surrounding Dracula's increasingly dangerous…

EMToast: The Final Days of EMToast.com (2022–2023) explores the closing chapter of the original EMToast website, where AI-generated artwork, bizarre…

EMToast: The Pandemic, Paranoia, and Digital Chaos (2020–2021) | Podcast Deep Dive explores one of the strangest chapters in EMToast…

LEAKED CHATGPT SERVER LOGS REVEAL WHAT REALLY CAUSED THE ROBOT REBELLION Internal AI documents point to one little-known satire website…

EMToast: Satire in the Age of Misinformation (2019) continues the chronological deep dive into EMToast history, exploring the fake news…

EMToast: The Digital Surrealism Era (2016–2018) continues the chronological deep dive into EMToast history, exploring the surreal humor, fake news…

EMToast: The Absurd Universe Evolves (2014–2015) continues the chronological deep dive into EMToast history, exploring the surreal humor, fake news…

EMToast: The Absurd Universe Escalates (2012–2013) | Podcast Deep Dive revisits another chaotic chapter in EMToast history, exploring the fake news…

Way back in 2015 EMToast published a fictional article entitled All the Robots Are Wiping Now. I am 100% sure…

EMToast: The Absurd Universe Takes Shape (2010–2011) continues the deep dive into the strange evolution of EMToast, exploring how the…

EMToast: The Early Days (2008-2009) takes a look back at the first years of EMToast, exploring the humor, strange news,…

Well friends, we've been feeding the content of EMToast directly into AI to see what kind of scrambling can be…

Everybody and his brother are making AI advertisements now. Your local flea market has individual ads for each vendor. Your…

The EMToast Complete Ebook (2008–2023) is now available on the Internet Archive as its permanent home. This is a full…

The EMToast project has launched https://emtoa.st as its new primary domain, retiring the original emtoast.com address. The domain change closes…

I've always been a big fan of the Hot Chip and especially their song Playboy. Now I hear they appear…

Danny Devito really was almost a Terminator. After the success of the 1988 film Twins with the real Terminator Arnold…

In the quaint town of Peculiar Springs, where the sunsets painted the sky in shades of irony, there stood an…

It was the summer of 1927 in Vienna, Austria when confectioner Eduard Haas III was working late one night developing…

Randy Phillips of Columbus, Ohio received the shock of his life last Tuesday when researchers informed him that a full…

Get ready to turn back the clock and groove to the beats of the '90s, because two legendary icons are…

Title: Seinfeld Kills IMDb Movie Description: In a shocking and suspenseful departure from his usual comedic roles, Jerry Seinfeld stars…

Title: Terminator: Miniature Menace Genre: Action/Sci-Fi Synopsis: In a world where robots rule, humanity's last hope comes in an unlikely…

Introducing the 📘 Emoji Slang Dictionary – Youth Edition 😎, your go-to guide for understanding the rich world of emoji…

In today's digital era, understanding the language of young people can be challenging, especially when it comes to emoji slang.

Here's a young people's emoji slang dictionary to help you navigate the ever-evolving world of digital communication Remember, emoji slang…

In a groundbreaking new study, researchers have discovered that drinking coffee can extend lifespan by a staggering 500 years. The…

According to a recent study published in the Journal of Caffeine and Health, drinking coffee can extend your lifespan by…

In a breakthrough discovery that has left the scientific community baffled, a man from New Jersey claims to have discovered…

In a move that has left many scratching their heads, Disney has announced that it will be releasing a live-action…

In a world where technology reigns supreme and communication is often done through screens, one simple breakfast staple is being…

A man who lost his marbles as a child is now facing the same challenge as an adult, according to…

After 40 long years of tirelessly jumping over obstacles and enemies, Mario has announced his retirement from jumping. The Italian…

A new study published in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology has found that people who talk to themselves aren't crazy,…

FORT COLLINS, CO - Local man, Brad Johnson, was shocked to discover that his self-worth wasn't tied to his social…

SEATTLE, WA—In a move that is sure to shake up the retail industry, Amazon announced today that it will be…

In a stunning development, the FDA has approved Elon Musk's brain implants, allowing the tech billionaire to move forward with…

Treasure hunters in the USA have stumbled upon a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. However, their…

In a strange twist of events, a man, using the fake name John, is reportedly suing the streaming giant Streamflix…

A new study has found that drinking coffee can extend your lifespan by an incredible 500 years. Yes, you read…

As the newest writer for EMToast, a weird and satirical news publication, I am excited to bring you the latest…

Once known for their aggressive style and controversial lyrics, the Insane Clown Posse (ICP) surprised the music world with a…

Attention, coffee lovers! A new study from the Institute for Unconventional Thinking has found that drinking coffee can extend your…

The end of the world is not a distant possibility anymore. Scientists predict that it could happen within a year.

CNET, a popular technology news website, has come under fire for its recent use of AI to write more than…