Absurd World News

One night on the train home with her friends, a woman’s friends pointed out to her that she's had some…

Results of a 2008 patient care survey taken at NY/ NJ/ PA hospitals have found the most offensive term Health…

While showering at the gym, a 35 year old man suspected there was a peeping tom in the next shower…

Children have known for decades that there is something special about the chocolate / vanilla combination. Ever increasing consumption of…

This has been floating around everywhere for the past couple days.  It's another one the gf keeps telling me about…

Congratulations to McDonald's for finally doing a commercial other than that damn I'm loving it bullshit.  I'm not sure if…

Boston, MA—Baby Luv, former designer pet to socialite Paris Hilton was arrested earlier this month in connection with the brutal…

All you foot freaks who come to this site all the time looking for stinky feet, we've got news for…

ARIES--you are going to encounter the corpse of GG Allin in a Starbucks on Wednesday. He is going to hold…

Werewolves have been the greatest threat to national security since the early part of the 19th century. Lincoln was at…

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The luxurious life of the privileged is at your fingertips and toetips in just 8 short weeks. The revolutionary new…

PORT-AU-PRINCE, HAITI – Research at the University of Haiti College of Medicine has uncovered strong evidence linking Wernicke-Korsakoff Syndrome or…

Married for almost 30 years, the husband never held a steady job and always asked his wife for money. One…

The discovery of cave paintings of the controversial late 90’s art icon known only as It Come in the aboriginal…

A woman who was suspicious of her husband having an affair hired a private investigator to install a GPS with…

Using the definitions provided, and your inner spirit guide, fill out the boxes below with the correct type of word.

Chiclets, the candy coated gum once widely available in the US is set to make a comeback after many years…

Aries-On Thursday you will be dreaming about a werewolf plane being made love to by a screaming plane and then …

There are hundreds of horrors that greet us everyday in the office.  From sneezing babies, to prehistoric insects, you just…

January 15, 2009 A Greenbay Wisconsin woman returned home friday afternoon to find a creature defiling her living room carpet.

Due to recessionary concerns, the Kellogg Company has asked it’s Kellogg’s ® division to recycle some of their old cereal…

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A 22 year old woman came home late one night and her 50 year old drunk neighbor who was sitting…

MEDFORD, WISCONSIN – An area boy told local authorities he was able to fend off a werewolf attack Friday night…

Check it out people! The Wrestler from Fox Searchlight Pictures opened in theaters this week. Charlize Theron has reprised her…

The above photo was recently taken at the fine go-go bar 'Tittilations' in scenic Bloomfield, NJ.  This convenient stench dispenser…

It’s a battle to the death between two alien 80’s tv show icons. Peaceful Mork from Ork or the vicious…

Thin droopy eyebrows got you down?  Poorly defined bushy brows?  All that’s in the past.  It’s 2009 now, a new…

in 2009 ARIES: Everyone hates the boss at some time or another, but they can usually get by without call…

ARIES: Don’t count on getting shit for Christmas, Santa has had it with you. You know, you have been pretty…

1962 - a time of innocence. Americans were obsessed with the future and all the wonders it would bring. It…

BEAVERTON, Ore. (Dec. 21, 2008) – NIKE, Inc. (NYSE: NKE) today announced that they are expecting profits in the 1st…

In the spirit of Christmas, EMToast.com is proud to present you with the opportunity to fill in the blanks of…

Byram, NJ. Recent renovations of a section of Route 80 westbound have uncovered the remains of what archeologists believe to…

A friend of a friend of EMToast.com co-created and starred in this short film about those who wear mustaches and…

ARIES- The less you say the more intelligent people will think you are, well the less chances you have you…

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47 year old man was married to his 40 year old wife for almost 20 years and they have a…

24 Year old horny young man went up to the roof of his building one night trying to peak at…

I wrote this tirade on this game tape a few months back and it was just lingering in Word Press…

A 42 yr old truck driver and 40 a year old nurse have been married for 12 years and the…

A 67 year old grandmother was having an affair with a 71 year old man. One morning she called him…

Group Hepsi, commonly known as Hepsi, is a famous Turkish pop/R&B girl group. Hepatitis C (aka Hep C) is a…

Aries: Your life has become as complicated as a Marble Madness diagram. The planetary alignment of Pluto and Uranus is…